What My Son Taught Me About Autism, Fatherhood, and Acceptance

When I first learned that my son had autism, I didn’t understand it. I resisted it. I wanted to fix him. I was the kind of father who believed toughness built resilience—and that my son, Julian, needed fixing more than he needed understanding.

He was diagnosed at three years old. But it took much longer for me to truly see him.

As Julian grew, so did my awareness of what love really means: not shaping your child into your image, but becoming someone worthy of their world.

The Joy of Disney and the Freedom to Be

Julian doesn’t just watch Disney movies—he lives in them. Whether it’s animated classics or live-action remakes, he memorizes every frame, every line, every detail. At the theater, he doesn’t sit still. He dances, walks out, walks back in, flaps his hands, and speaks in whispers known only to him. He feels every scene deeply.

For years, I might have told him to sit down. Be still. Blend in. But not anymore.

These rituals—his pacing, his waves to strangers, his unfiltered joy—are part of who he is. And they’ve taught me how wrong I was to try and confine that spirit.

Public Moments, Private Lessons

There was the time Julian, then a teenager, gleefully showed off a Disney princess-themed bag to strangers at a mall. A woman, at first startled by his behavior, ended up laughing and swapping stories with him just minutes later.

That’s what we call the Julian effect: he disarms with kindness, and people walk away lighter than they arrived.

There was a time when I would’ve stopped him from waving, from speaking. Now, I stand aside and marvel.

Strength in Silence, Bravery in Each Step

Every morning in high school, Julian took 35 steps from the car to the school doors. He was walking into a place where he didn’t quite fit in—socially isolated, no dances, no dates—but he did it every single day, smiling and waving back at me.

That’s courage. The kind of courage I didn’t understand until I watched him live it, quietly, every day.

The Questions I Can’t Answer

“Dad, why do I have autism?”

“Will I have friends?”

“What will my life be like?”

These are the questions I can’t answer. And I’ve learned that I don’t need to. What I can do is hold his hand—literally and figuratively—and move forward with him. One day at a time. One smile at a time.

He has changed me. He’s changed our family. And we wouldn’t want life any other way.

Building a Future That Works for Every Child

Every autistic child is unique. Some, like Julian, will always need hands-on support in everyday life. Others may thrive independently with the right interventions and services early on.

That’s why families need resources that are flexible, compassionate, and personalized. Services that don't just treat symptoms, but support the whole child—and their family.

At Achieve Better ABA Therapy, we understand what that journey feels like. Many of us have lived it in our own homes. Our team of ABA therapists in North Carolina is here to support families through every stage, whether you're just receiving a diagnosis or navigating adulthood with your child.

Contact us today to learn how we can help your family achieve better days. We’ll meet you where you are, listen without judgment, and create a plan that reflects your child’s strengths and challenges. Together, we’ll take the next step forward.

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